


Running to you

by PinkLotus (EspurrsVena)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band), Produce 101 (Japan TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hico helping his big bros, M/M, Self-Doubt, if you squint there's some YonaRuki, no beta we die like real men, other members mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus
Summary: Ren wonders what made Takumi distancing himself from him. He misses the time when they were inseparable but struggles to find a solution himself.
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Running to you

**二人で抱きしめた memory  
忘れない君の温もり  
溢れ出した全ての瞬間  
君のそばにそっと いたい **

_The memory which we held close  
Your warmth that I can’t forget  
all moments that overflowed  
I want to be always next to you _

Ren had wondered when everything had gone wrong. At one point he and Takumi had been inseparable, but now the pink haired one was rarely in his vicinity. Even if he was with Takumi, someone else was always there, too. There was no moment of just the two of them anymore.  
It wasn't like he minded spending time with his fellow group members, but with Takumi it had been always something else, something special.  
Ren missed this. He missed Takumi. He missed spending time with the younger one. He missed just the two of them practising. He missed their secret late night gaming sessions. 

When Takumi started to distance himself from him, he first respected that. They were a team of eleven now, so naturally Takumi had to nurture the bonds with the other members, he thought. But instead of finding his way to Ren’s side again, Takumi strayed farther and farther from him. So, Ren began to fight for his attention. He began complimenting the younger one non-stop which sometimes resulted in an embarrassed reaction, but their former closeness still stayed a thing from the past. 

Instead Takumi seemed to prefer the company of Junki and Keigo. They were often around him, too, but those were the moments when Takumi was somewhere else. The worst was when Takumi declared in an interview that if he was worried, he would go to Junki or call Hico. Ren had used to be his counsellor...  
Somehow, Ren felt like Takumi was avoiding him which made him wonder why. Had he done something wrong? Had he hurt the younger one?  
Also, what should he do? Respect that Takumi didn’t want to spend time with him anymore? Continue to fight for him? Talk to him and find out what was wrong? 

The last option was the most reasonable one, yet also the most difficult one. Approaching the pink haired one had become difficult these days, not only because he was rarely alone, also because of Ren’s worries.  
Of course, there was always the possibility of talking to Takumi after they returned to their dorm, but Ren respected Takumi’s need for alone-time and he didn’t want anyone to enter his room.  
Talking to Junki would be another option, yet Ren’s pride made him hesitate to do that. He wanted to hear everything from Takumi himself and not having to run to someone else for it.  
Basically, Ren was stuck in a dilemma. 

Surprisingly, no one commented on the situation. Back in the days, there were occasional jokes about them being glued together or Ren’s favouritism towards the younger one, yet nowadays those kinds of jokes were directed towards their leader and his love for Ruki or at Sukai for being Ren’s unofficial fanclub president. While most people only knew recently about Sukai’s respect for the older one, it had been like that since the audience.  
So, in conclusion for everyone else, everything seemed to be normal, yet Ren knew it was not.  
Having their leader pining for Ruki was also a reason why Ren didn’t ask Sho for any advice regarding that situation. Normally, the oldest one knew a solution for everything, yet recently he seemed to be pretty helpless, too. 

One day, when they had one of rare free days, seemed to be the perfect opportunity to reach out to the younger one, yet the recent days had made Ren feel tired. It had been stressful recently and he felt too tired to worry about his relationship with Takumi that day. He was even so tired, that he had locked his door for once, so when Junki and Mame wanted to come over to play some Smash brothers, they had to use the intercom for the first time. Ren heard them, or rather Junki, making a noise outside, yet he wasn’t in the mood for gaming. He wanted to sleep all day which he pretty much did.  
He knew it wasn't his usual tiredness, but also a mental one, yet for once he felt like it was okay to let go of himself for a day. The next day he would be himself again.

However, in one of his few awake moments he was surprised by a message from Hico. Due both of them being close to Takumi during the audition, they had spent quite some time together, yet afterwards they only exchanged occasionally messages.  
Hico had asked him if he wanted to meet up with him and Takumi when he would visit Tokyo soon. It sounded like fun, but Ren doubted that it would happen like the boy had planned. If he agreed, Takumi would probably decline. 

**ren.yan** : _I would love to, but I think Takumi would prefer to see you alone._  
**HICO** : _Why?_  
**ren.yan** : _You two haven’t seen each other since awhile. He surely wants to spend some time with his little bro alone_  
**HICO** : _We haven’t seen each other in a while too. Don’t you like Hico anymore? TT_  
**ren.yan** : _I still like you! But I think Takumi doesn’t like me anymore_  
**HICO** : _Did you two fight?_  
**ren.yan** : _No.._  
**ren.yan** : _I dunno what happened_  
**ren.yan** : _but he avoids me_  
**HICO** : _no way_  
**HICO** : _wait a minute_  
**ren.yan** : _???_

Eventually, he had to wait much longer than a minute. Hico didn’t reply for more than an hour, so Ren decided to take another nap, yet when he was about to fall asleep, he heard a knock on the door.  
He was about to ignore it, but then he heard Takumi’s voice from the other side of the door calling him.  
When he opened the door, Takumi didn’t seem happy. “Why did you say that to Hico?” Hico was one of the few people Takumi was protective of. Usually, people wanted to protect the pink haired one, but in their brotherly relationship it was the opposite for once.  
“What do you mean?” He hadn’t written anything bad in the chat earlier, had he?  
“That you don’t want to meet him because of me.”  
“No, I want to meet him. But I thought you wouldn’t be happy that I joined, too.”  
“Why do you think that?”  
“Because you avoid me?” 

In that moment Ren felt awful. He had managed to anger the pink haired one for real now. Something he was afraid of the whole time.  
“I’m not avoiding you.”  
“Then why don’t we spend time together anymore?”  
“We do.”  
“But there is always someone else there, too, and usually you leave that situation pretty fast.”  
“Sorry for having other friends, too.”  
“That’s not what I meant.” On the one hand, Ren was afraid that the situation would turn into a real fight between them, but on the other one, it could be the only chance for them to solve the situation, for the better or the worse. “I miss the old times when it was just the two of us sometimes. You used to come to me for everything, but nowadays you seem to run away from me.”  
“Can I come in?” 

They were still standing at Ren’s door and he let the younger one enter his room. Like in the past, instead of using one of the seat cushions which Ren had everywhere because of the gaming sessions, Takumi sat down on Ren’s bed. Meanwhile, Ren was unsure whether he should sit down next to him or not. His heart was beating like the wings of a Colibri; it had been too long since he had been alone and close with the younger one.  
“I’m not running away from you.”, started Takumi. “I’m running away from myself.”  
Ren had no idea what he meant, but Takumi looked troubled, so the silver haired crouched down in front of him and took his hand. “Why?”  
“Because in the time we spend together... when we conquered every challenge together... something happened.” 

“What happened?” Ren was worried. Takumi’s hands were ice cold.  
“Something that should not happen.”  
“Takumi, no matter what has happened, you can tell me the truth.”  
“You will hate me.”  
“Takkun, by now you should know that I couldn’t hate you. Even if you made all my white socks turn pink.” It was true. There was nothing in this universe what could make Ren hate Takumi. Even their recent distance couldn’t make him stop longing the presence of the younger. He craved it even more.  
“It will be a scandal, if anyone finds it out.”  
That statement made Ren’s mind go through hundreds of possibilities. Did Takumi have a girlfriend? Did Takumi make her pregnant? Did Takumi commit some crime? Did Takumi somehow manipulate the result of the final? But how was everything related to him?  
Yet, for Takumi’s sake he tried to stay as calm as possible. The younger one was finally opening up to him again and he didn’t want to waste that chance. “Tell me.” 

“all the moments we spend together... all those memories we created together, everything made me fall in love to you.”  
Ren could not believe what he just heard. He had expected the worst, yet the actual reason was the opposite. He must be dreaming, he thought. “No way.”  
“I’m sorry, Ren. I’m going now.” Takumi wanted to let go of his hand, but the silver haired one gripped them tighter.  
“Don’t go.” 

Ren pulled him into his arms so fast that they both lost balance and crashed on the floor. Having Takumi that close made Ren’s heart go even wilder, but he didn’t let him ago. Instead he moved the hand he was still holding towards his fast beating heart. “Takkun, can you feel that?”  
In a few seconds younger one’s face colour turned into a shade similar to his hair colour. “You don’t hate me.”  
“No.” The statement made the dancer chuckled a bit. Embarrassed Takumi was too cute. “I love you, too, Takumi. That’s why it hurt me when you started to avoid me.”  
“I’m sorry. I always thought it was just fanservice... because the fans liked seeing us together.”  
“Never, Takumi, never. Every compliment was meant exactly as I said it.”  
“But we can’t be together... if the people find out.. We just started making our dream come true.”  
“No one will find it out.” Even if Ren had to fight the whole word, he would not let go of the chance of being with Takumi. Not after hearing that the younger one also had feelings for him. “We will act like before in public, but when we are here... then you are mine again. I want to be at your side.” The dancer let go of Takumi’s hand, took his face between his hands and kissed him. He had dreamed so long do that. 

Takumi kissed him back and his lips tasted like cherries, no doubt thanks to the lip balm he used. They only separated from each other’s lips when they both needed oxygen. Ren was about to say something when he heard his door opening with a bang.  
“Finally, you are done with your nap! Today I’m gonna beat-” Junki entered his room, together with his switch, Syoya and Mame and only stopped when he saw both guys on the floor. “Oh my god, not in front of the kids!”, he screamed in the moment he saw them and tried to cover Mame’s eyes with one hand while removing the clips that kept Syoya’s bangs out of his face with the other one. “You two don’t know shame!”  
Both guys hastily stood up from the floor, one embarrassed by being caught, the other one annoyed that they were interrupted. “How about knocking the next time?”  
“The door was open!”  
“Junki, stop screaming.”  
“Okay.”  
“Thank you. And now, get out of my room.”  
Junki didn’t seem happy that gaming session was cancelled again, but he and the two younger members left. However, when he had left the room, they heard him scream again: “Keigo, I won the bet!” 

“Well, now the whole dorm knows it.”  
Takumi still seemed embarrassed by everything. “He... took it well.”  
“I think so, too.”  
“That’s good.”  
“Can you say it again?”  
“What?”  
“That you love me.”  
“No way.”  
It was cute in Ren’s eyes how shyly Takumi acted now. The kiss earlier had been far from shy. "Why?"  
By chance Ren’s eyes fell on his phone and two messages appeared on his lock screen. 

**Yonaoppa** : _No more making out in front of the kids. Lock your door the next time._

 **HICO** : _You can thank me later by paying for dinner when we meet ~ See you soon_

**Author's Note:**

> The GC demanded and I delivered. I hope you enjyoed this little angsty AU, too.  
> Meanwhile I'm going to sacrifice my Haribo-stack to bribe RenKumi in posting a selfie togehter.  
> See you~


End file.
